Cereal and other condiments

Every week day, I get up at 6.45 roll down the stairs - literally - and drift into the kitchen for breakfast. I know that I must be back in my room to begin the mammoth task of removing the cows lick from my right temple by 7.05 so time is tight. For this very reason I have had to optimise my breakfast eating experience.

Up until this point i'm sure you're thinking that you can't really get a blog out of this; I beg to differ. You see, I had been doing this for roughly 3 years, always the same breakfast, always the same routine. Then the week before last I had the flu, and I could not have my breakfast; I couldn't even get out of bed. But this brought about a change to my routine, I ended up having toast; a toastally - inner child and all that... -  new experience for me.

So, on the 28th I return to cereal and I am told by my sister and boyfriend that i'm eating it all wrong... That the adding of milk to the bowl should be done after cereal is present. 

Now, I speak for a significant proportion of the population when I say this, as you can see in my pie chart below.

Please note some data my be fabricated

Clearly my results show that an overwhelming proportion add the milk first. Just over a quarter add the milk first and incase you're wondering 0.5% of the population are ninjas and add them together.

Anyway, back to the point. Now, why have I bothered to waste your time with this today, well. I believe that this comes down to whether you consider cereal to be a condiment or not. Not I would say yes, because it has to be eaten with milk. Hence making milk the base of the meal and the cereal being an optional extra; after all you can drink milk on it's own. No such things are possible or rather recommended with cereal.

 For this reason the milk should be added first and the cereal should be added second. If it wasn't then really you would have to put jam on your plate then smear your toast in it. Does that not just sound wrong?

Obviously, there is the argument that milk is a condiment to things like tea, in which case it is not essential but more an optional extra. But milk can be added to a tea cup first, yet another thing that is truly ridiculous. So really this comes down to which is which at which time? In the situation we discuss it is most definitely not a condiment, cereal is clearly the condiment.

So its got to that point where I make a huge, outrageous and somewhat meaningless metaphor; but I'm short on comedic brilliance today so I simply leave you with this.

If you put your cereal into a bowl first you should smear you toast into your toppings, put milk in your mug before tea - hence curdling the milk - step into your jeans before your undergarments and ultimately try to open the door before you unlock it.

So clearly my morning routine would not work if I ate my cereal 'correctly', I would forever be drinking disgusting tea, walking around being laughed at and being stuck inside my own house.



If you put your cereal into a bowl first you should smear you toast into your toppings, put milk in your mug before tea - hence curdling the milk - step into your jeans before your undergarments and ultimately try to open the door before you unlock it.
I did say i'd leave you with it.