Such Is Life
Life is a mystery,
Life is a trick.
Life is the reason,
Life is the win,
Life is the loss,
Life is life.
Life is a change,
But life is the same,
Life is nothing,
But life is everything,
Life means nothing,
But means 42.
I can win,
I can lose,
But this life will never be lost.
I've never lost a fight,
And will not start now,
Everything I have,
Everything is me,
Everything is you.
Life is me,
Life is you,
Life is us,
Life is now,
Life is forever,
We are too.
Now I have nothing,
I've learnt how to lose,
Why me,
Why now,
Why ever.
Love is life,
Life is love,
Now I have neither and float free.
I'm fancy free,
No strings,
No connections,
No ties to my affections.
But still.
Nothing is my everything.
And now I am nowhere to be found,
My life ends.
Such is life.
Such is life.
This is a poem I wrote last year, whilst in the worst of a bout of fairly serious depression.
The tale is of me, how i was and then i wished i would be. I had just broken up from a long term relationship, one which I'm told hurt me more than it was worth, though i live not to remember. 'My life ends' was a wish of mine at the time, one wish that I later explained with a limerick.
Once I had wished I were dead,
But it was selfish he and she said,
Though for my eyes to see,
It was the only way free,
But know, that it filled me with dread.
Up to 'but this life will never be lost' the words are of a strong mind, one who is yet to fall.
Down to 'why ever' is the downhill stage of realisation, a real tumble.
The second last stanza is the stage before a mind becomes suicidal, laughing at myself, knowing i can't do it.
And the last stanza is one of hope, hope of darkness and simply knowing the it is now inevitable.
Poetry, and the written word as a whole were my only outlets for anger, for disappointment, for my cold and callous self at the time. Unfortunately my talent for poems has passed, and though I have spent months trying, never have I regained such ease of use of words.
I hope you enjoy what I believed to be very much last words.
And equally hope that this gives a glimpse of what people go through when they question their very existence.